I Choose The Weak

When choosing a team of people to help them save the world, most people would choose the best of the best; the most intelligent and powerful individuals they could find. We live in a world that defines value by beauty, talent, strength, and fame. Just look at the media. “Heroes” are portrayed as being somehow special or more equipped for great things than the average person. Superman has supernatural strength. Harry Potter is a wizard. Luke Skywalker is the last jedi. Just try to think of one hero who doesn’t have something supernatural or extraordinary about them that seems more equipped for the task or trial ahead of them than anyone else. I sure can’t. For my whole life, I thought that heroism was only for those of us who happen to be born strong, talented, or brave at heart. I watched movies, read books, and even heard about real heroism on the news and told myself I just wasn’t cut out for the job. You have to be something special, talented, and brave to make a difference. I even said this to myself as I read about heroes in the Bible like Moses, King David, and the Apostle Paul. That’s not for you. I’d think as I tried to picture myself commanding one of the most powerful monarchs in the world to let his slaves go or praising God in a Roman prison after being stripped naked and beaten with rods. I knew I wasn’t strong, talented, or brave enough to change the world even though I longed deeply to be able to help the hurting people around me and make a difference. All I saw was a weak, shy, insecure girl with anxiety and dyslexia. However, that’s because I was missing an important part of the picture.

The truth is, none of us are strong, talented, or brave enough to change the world on our own, but luckily we are not on our own. One of my favorite passages in the Bible tells a story of a man named Gideon who, like me, found courage hard to come by. He lived in Israel during a time when a Nation called Midian controlled Israel. They had defeated them in battle seven years before and ruled over them ever since. The Midianites became cruel and so the Israelites cried out to God for help. Now, if these Israelites are anything like me, they probably had a big strong warrior in mind who would charge into battle with an army at his side and defeat the Midianites like you or I might step on an ate hill. However, God has a different definition of the word “hero.” Instead of finding the strongest, bravest, most experienced soldier in the land, he sent an angel down into a threshing floor where a shy, insecure young man was hiding from the Midianites. When the angel found Gideon hiding from the enemy, he called him a “mighty hero,” (Judges 6: 12 NLT). Then, he told him to go rescue the nation of Israel from the Midianites, but Gideon protested saying that his “clan (was) the weakest in the whole tribe of Manasseh, and (he was) the least in (his) entire family!” (Judges 6: 15 NLT). The Lord tells him that he will be with him, but Gideon continues to doubt God and asks him to give him a miraculous sign to prove that God is really with him. God is patient with him and does as he asks, but Gideon continues to doubt and asks the Lord to perform the miracle one more time. Eventually, God uses Gideon and an army of only 300 men to defeat the Midiantes who have thousands of powerful, well trained warriors at their disposal. This is just one of thousands of stories in the Bible of God choosing the weakest, least equipped people to move the greatest mountains and the strongest giants. For most of my childhood, I read these Bible stories and thought that all these people that did amazing things for the kingdom of God were relying on their own courage, intelligence, and strength. However, that’s not the full story. None of those people did what they did through their own abilities. Every last one was relying on the supernatural power and mercy of the living God. Like Gideon, I was weak, insecure, and crippled by fear and anxiety. I was hiding from the world around me when he called me by name and invited me to join his larger story.

One night, about a year ago, I had a dream that I was in a high school gym with about thirty other people. We were walking around and around in a circle and as I began to look around the room, I spotted Jesus standing in the center of the circle. I looked at the people around me and saw that they were trudging along like the walking dead with glazed over expressions on their faces. Then, I looked back at Jesus, wanting to run to him. I didn’t understand why no one else saw him and why they weren’t excited. He met my eyes and frowned, but I couldn’t figure out what was making him so sad.

The next morning I woke up and decided that my subconscious mind was just acting strange because I had eaten something weird before going to bed or had just been really stressed out. I pushed the dream to the back of my mind and forgot all about it until God reminded me of it a few weeks later. He said to me, “the world is asleep and I’m going to use you to wake them up.”

I was stunted and confused. I didn’t understand why he would choose to use me to start a revival when I could think of thousands of other people who were way braver, smarter, and more talented than me.

“Why me?” I asked.

“I choose the weak,” he said. Only four simple words that were basically an insult, but they were just what I needed to hear. At that moment, a light bulb went on inside of my head and every inch of doubt just left the room. All my life, I had thought that God couldn’t use me for his kingdom because I was so weak and afraid, but in reality it’s the other way around. God chose me because of my weakness. The Apostle Paul put it this way, “...(God’s) power works best in weakness. So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me,” ( 2 Corinthians 12: 8 NLT). In the book of Psalm it says, “the stone that the builders rejected has now become the cornerstone,” (Psalm 118: 22 NLT). God chooses to work through the people that the world has rejected and thrown out. I was born weak so that Christ could make me strong.

In the gospel of John, Jesus was walking along the road one day with his disciples

when he happened to come across a blind man. “‘Rabbi,’ his disciples asked him, ‘why was this man born blind? Was it because of his own sin or his parents’ sins?’

“‘It was not because of his sins or his parents’ sins,’ Jesus answered. ‘This happened so the power of God could be seen in him,’” ( John 9: 2 - 3 NLT). Jesus then proceeded to heal the man of his blindness. If the man hadn’t been born blind, then Jesus wouldn’t have had to heal him in the first place, and his disciples and the other people watching wouldn’t have seen his great power to heal and redeem. I was born with dyslexia and social anxiety, but God called me to write books and preach in sermons so that his power and mercy can be seen through my weakness. Without my weaknesses, you would just assume that I’m just naturally a talented author and speaker, but the truth is, on my own I crumble under pressure and would have never been able to learn to read and write. However, I am not on my own. When all we can see in ourselves is our brokenness, he sees royalty. When all we s

ee is a coward hiding in a threshing floor, he sees a mighty hero. We are not alone so let’s let go of our doubts and insecurities and trust in the God who knows and sees everything; the God who makes the planets spin and the seasons change, but calls the weak by name.

If you have any questions or would like to learn more about The C.A.N Sisters’ Ministry, leave a comment below, check out our website, or email us at cansistersminsitry@gmail.com.