A Light in The Darkness

We are living in a crazy time right now! First, a virus spread throughout the whole entire world. Then, my parents and I were in a serious car accident. My dad was killed and I broke my left femur. Now fires are spreading all throughout Oregon, and its neighboring states devouring everything in their path. It's one thing after another. Life seems out of control, and really, in many ways, it is. My family and I are stuck in doors waiting for a thick layer of smoke to clear from the sky while hoping we won’t have to evacuate. Everything around us suggests that there is no hope left in the world, but the world is not where we should look for hope. Psalm 42: 11 says, “Blessed is he who finds his help in the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the Lord his God.” If we go to anything other than God and his promises for hope, all we will find is despair.

One of my favorite people in the Bible is Saint Peter. He was one of the first disciples of Jesus and, even though he had many downfalls and struggles to overcome, God used him to advance the kingdom in many ways. He denied ever knowing Jesus when Jesus was arrested and put on trial Later in his life, he preached a sermon that led 5,000 people to Christ. His life ended years later when he was put to death for his faith by crucifixion. For most of my life, I have read stories about people in the Bible, like Saint Peter, who willingly gave up everything for Christ and then said to myself, “These people are extraordinary. I could never be that brave.” Since I was about seven years old, I had struggled with anxiety and self-hatred. I thought that some people were just somehow born “brave” while others weren’t. However, I was missing something; something very important! In fact, it, or rather he is the answer behind everything worth being a part of. Jesus! We must build everything, our hope, our joy, our strength, on God and his promises and nothing else. Saint Paul wrote, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,” (Philipians 4: 13). On our own we aren’t very strong beings. Even compared to the rest of God’s creation on Earth, we don’t really make much of a comparison. An ocean wave can knock over the average adult. A grizzly bear can kill someone with one swipe of their paw.

Next up is spiritual beings. Without God, we don’t even stand a chance. In the book of 2 Kings one angel killed 185,000 powerful soldiers in one night, ( 2 King 19: 35). So why would God choose to use us to change the world if we are so weak? This question brings us to the heart of God. He does not find worth in power, money, intelligence, or anything else that this world too often holds up. Jesus said to his disciples, “The last will be first, and the first will be last.” (Matthew 20: 16). He loves unconditionally, no matter the cost; ever if he gets nothing in return. Saint Paul puts it this way, “God said to be, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness,’” (2 Corinthians 12: 9).

One time when we find Saint Paul living out this verse in his walk with God is in chapter 16 of the book of Acts. His companion, Silas, and he were thrown in prison for casting a demon out of an enslaved girl. “The crowd joined in the attack against Paul and Silas, and the magistrates ordered them to be stripped and beaten with rods. After they had been severely flogged, they were thrown into prison, and the jailer was commanded to guard them carefully. When he received these orders, he put them in the inner cell and fastened their feet in the stocks.

“About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them. Suddenly, there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. At once all the prison doors flew open, and everyone’s chains came loose. The jailer woke up, and when he saw the prison doors open, he drew his sword and was about to kill himself because he thought the prisoners had escaped. But Paul shouted, ‘Don’t harm yourself! We are all here!’

“The jailer called for lights, rushed in and fell trembling before Paul and Silas. He then brought them out and asked, ‘Sirs, what must I do to be saved?’

“They replied, ‘Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household.’ Then they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all the others in his house. At that hour of the night the jailer took them and washed their wounds; then immediately he and all his household were baptized. The jailer brought them into his house and set a meal before them; he was filled with joy because he had come to believe in God—he and his whole household,” (Act 16: 22 - 34). Saint Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns (worship songs) just after being beaten with rods and thrown in prison for living out their faith. At this time and place in the ancient world it was illegal to be a Christian. They were looking to Christ to find hope and strength and nothing else.

This was a particular story that confused me for quite some time. I didn’t understand how someone could worship and be full of courage and joy in such a dire circumstance. Then, I got the opportunity to live it.

On August 26 of this year, I was sitting in the backseat of my dad’s car as my parents and I were on our way home from a camping trip. One second I was staring at my lap thinking about what I might do for the evening when I got home; the next everything around me became complete chaos. It felt as if the whole world was shattering to pieces around me. Then, the car stopped and I realized that we had been in a car accident. My dad was unresponsive, but my mom and I were still conscious. We began to cry out to God, “Lord Jesus, Lord Jesus.” It was all I could say. I was in so much pain because I broke my left femur in three different places. Cars stopped and within seconds at least 20 people were rushing to our aid. Despite all my pain and everything else that was going on around me, God gave me a peace of mind that I can’t explain. When I was in an ambulance on the way to the hospital, I began to praise God for his goodness.

A few days later, when I got home from the hospital, I thought back on all this and asked God, “Where did all that strength come from?” I had always been so shy and afraid of almost everything.

He replied, “You cried out to me. That’s all you have to do.” It was then that I finally was able to understand what it truly means to find strength in God. When the car stopped and I began to cry out to him, he met me there and gave me strength, peace of mind, and an unexplainable abundance of joy. No matter what we go through during our time on this earth, we can find hope, peace, joy, and strength in Christ if we cling to him.

If you have any questions or would like to learn more about The C.A.N Sisters’ Ministry, leave a comment below, check out our website, or email us at cansistersministry@gmail.com.