Spread My Wings

They say I am reserved and quiet.

Like a flower in winter afraid

To afore it beauty.

A young blue jay afraid to spread its wings

And leave the safety of its mother’s nest.

So I wear their labels.

Sinking into despair under the heavy

Weight of the iron chains.

I let their tongues fiery arrows

Pierce my shattered soul.

But then my Savior came.

He raped me in his loving arms

And graded my heart with his shield of truth.

I am embracing my new name

And spreading my wings wide.

No longer can this cage hold me,

Or these chains bine me

For I have found victory in the Lord,

The mighty one who made the prison

Walls of my sin and shame crumble

And fall away!

In my English class, my classmates and I have been learning about how a person’s environment and relationships can shape their narrative. One of the main ways that relationships can influence your narrative is by labels that you or the people around you have given you. This can be a good or bad thing depending on whether or not it is a good label and how it influences the way you look at yourself and how you act.

My teacher had us write down some labels that we had given ourselves or others had given us. Then we had to choose one that we wanted to disown by writing a poem about how we are no longer going to agree with that label. I chose to write my poem about how people have always called me shy. I am often afraid to interact with my peers and express my opinion. When I was in middle and grade school, I hardly ever talked to my classmates accepted for my really close friends. I have developed a habit of hiding my feelings. I learned to keep my expression from telling the people around me how I feel inside and didn’t even let myself laugh when I was around strangers or people I didn’t trust or know very well.

After living this way for most of my childhood, I finally couldn’t bear it any longer. I wanted to be free and be myself. I was lonely and depressed from stuffing all my feelings and emotions. I had reached the end of my rope. I didn’t want to be that shy, insecure girl that I had become. I had nowhere else to go so I ran to Jesus and he met me in my pain and moved mountains that I never thought would even budge and broken chains that seemed invincible.

“The Lord will fight for you, you need only be still.”

• Exodus 14 : 14

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