My Two Greatest Fears

Most people think of things like creepy stories and heights when they are asked what their greatest fears are. Even though I am terrified of snakes and centipedes, I would have to say that my two biggest fears are failure and rejection.

I had trouble learning to read as a small child. Because of this I had a very low self-esteem, and would tell myself that I would fail before trying something new. My past failures made me sure I would. I avoided every situation that I could possibly fail in, including social ones. I became very shy. I didn’t do any sports or extracurriculars. I lived this way for almost all of grade school, until God got a hold of my heart when I was in fifth grade. He began to change my view of myself and of my life. He showed me talents that I didn’t even know I had. He also started to ask me to step out of my comfort zone and take some risks. I did swim team for one year and took horseback riding lessons. In sixth grade I boarded my aunt’s horse at a barn near my house. God used this experience to help me be braver socially. Interacting with such a big animal was very intimidating at first. When I took leaps of faith with horseback riding I got more courageous when I interacted with my classmates.

In eighth grade God asked me to get my confidence from who I am in him instead of what I can do or what other people think of me. Knowing that my self worth was safe in him helped me take greater risks like trying track. I ended up hating it, but at least I was brave enough to try it.

God used my friend Amelia along with many other people in my life to set an example for me. Amelia is amazing! She is fearless when it comes to loving people and sharing her faith with them. She never lets anyone feel left out. God has taught me a lot from watching her. Instead of focusing on myself and worrying about what other people think of me (like I used to), when I find myself in a large crowd of people I don’t know, I look around to see if anyone looks lonely or left out. Then I go over to them and introduce myself.

God continues to help me overcome my fears of failure and rejection.

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