My Confidence Journey

When I started fifth grade, God started to to show me talents that I didn’t know I had. Because I struggled in school so much in first and second grade, I thought I had no talents. In fifth grade I was taken out of the special education room and soon became one of the top in my class in math. I also found some athletic talents when I started horse back lessons and swim team. I tried to get my confidence from these talents, but I still had a very low, unstable self-esteem. No matter how good I was at school and my other hobbies, it never seemed good enough, and I would always eventually end up finding someone who was more talented than me.

Then, on September 1, 2016 I moved to Baoding, China. I had to give up my family, my friends, my school, my house, the horse that I was boarding, my country, and my culture. One of the hardest things to give up was the horse that I was boarding. He is my aunt’s horse, so I would get to see him when I visited, but when I was in China I wouldn’t be able to ride, and my friends who would be taking lessons back in the US might be more experienced riders when I got back. I felt threatened because I was trying to get my confidence from my talents, but then God told me to give my talents to him and get my confidence from who I am, a child of God, instead of what I can do. For the first time in my life I felt like my self- esteem was stable and secure. God told me that unlike my talents, that could disappear in a moment, no matter what I did he would always love me and I would always be his child.

Learning to get your confidence from who you are in Christ isn’t a skill that you can master in a moment, and I often mess up, but God never gives up, and he often puts me in situations to remind me. For this I am very grateful.

I moved back to America on February 6, 2017. When I started at Cascade Junior High School, my new school, I skipped seventh grade. I had redone second grade to give me time to catch up in my academics because of my ADHD and Dyslexia. By skipping seventh grade I would be able to be with by peers. When I was a grade behind my peers, I was in all the high classes and one of the top students. When I skipped back up to my actual grade I was just grade level. I was used to teachers being impressed with my school work and was surprised when in eighth grade the teachers weren't as impressed with my work. I was forced to rely on who I am in Christ for confidence, and once again, God had me on the right track.

Going to China was only the beginning of my journey of learning to get my confidence from who I am in Christ, but With God’s help, I am getting better and better every day.

If you would like to learn more about confidence The C.A.N Sister’s Ministry will soon release a new Bible study called “Who Am I?” about confidence, and if you would like to ask us any questions email us at cansistersministry@gmail.com.